Whether you’ve experimented with dominance in the bedroom before, or you are entirely new to the concept, choosing a name for your dominant persona gives you the power to immerse yourself in a world so separate from the usual.

You take ownership of your fantasy, and demand your desires. No more “playing a part”. Begin with a brainstorm: who do you want to be? What sort of dominance do you enjoy?

Certain terms hold different associations to us all. Choose something that will empower you with each introduction and exploration you embark on.

Below are some titles you may want to consider:

Mistress, Miss, Madam, Goddess, Queen, Lady, Domme, Dominatrix, Empress...

Once you’ve chosen a title that feels right - something you’ll enjoy hearing from a pleading sub - it’s time to choose a name. Using your given name can feel natural and comfortable, but serves as a tie to the outside world. A chosen name lets you truly transform into the dominant persona you desire: separate from ‘regular’ you!

Choose a name you like, or even something that hints at your kinks and qualities: Miss Permission, Lady Leather, Domme Denyla, for example. Alliteration is always a great way to add impact.

Here are a few of our favourites: Miss Gold

Mistress Mercy

Empress Wu

Lady Phoenix

Gynarchy Goddess

Another way to go about this is asking those who have witnessed you in all your dominant glory: what kind of Dominatrix do they know you to be? Ask for them to describe your style, or what makes your dominance distinctive. Describing all they adore about you would be the perfect task for a grateful submissive - bonus points for an adjectives list.

Perhaps you’re demanding, or a torturous tease?

Maybe your flogging skills live on in your submissive’s mind for weeks...

Whatever it may be, your name should reflect the journey you want to take; even if it’s a specific skill that you’re yet to master. Naming yourself is the first step to manifesting your dominant desires.

If you aren’t quite feeling the magic, remember that this is a small reflection of you as a whole, and it will likely change and evolve as you do. There is no shame in rebranding your dominant persona: those who address you will be lucky to do so, whatever your name.

Don’t get stuck on naming the dominatrix within: it will come naturally as you come to better understand her wants, desires, and demands.

Long may your dominance and desires reign.

BDSM: bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism, can be incredibly therapeutic for individuals who willingly engage in these activities with consent, communication, and a deep understanding of boundaries. The practice requires a high level of trust and communication between partners, fostering a strong emotional connection.

Engaging in BDSM activities allows us to explore and understand our desires, fears, and boundaries in a safe and consensual environment. Without fear of judgement, one can safely confront particular triggers, and take them on within a safe, and pleasure-oriented setting.

The power dynamics involved can provide a sense of control and empowerment for both partners, leading to increased self-awareness and confidence. The Dominatrix is presented the opportunity to embody her full, most empowered self, without fear of being called “bossy”. In return, the submissive can embrace the safe space presented, and allow themselves to truly and utterly submit to their Domme - an act of freedom, especially when this is an unlikely scenario in their normal life. Learning to lay one’s self completely bare and vulnerable can prove transformational in trusting those beyond the bedroom, although not to the same extent.

For those dealing with any sexual trauma, BDSM -practiced safely- can offer an opportunity to take charge over the trauma: whether this is reframing triggers, or renacting elements of a traumatic experience from a position of power, with the consent of a submissive. In doing so, it teaches us that not only should sex be pleasurable, but that we are in control of our own pleasure and pain in the context of healthy, consensual sex. Pleasureable sex is something you deserve - whether this is before or after a traumatic event, you have the power, and the right, to bring sex and pleasure back together. It might not be easy, but BDSM can offer a safe space in which to explore these triggers with someone you trust.

Additionally, BDSM often incorporates elements of mindfulness and intense sensory experiences, welcoming us into a heightened state of awareness that can serve as a form of stress relief and relaxation. Many people find a sort of calm, or spiritual rush can come from either complete submission (referred to as subspace), or ruthless domination. A sort of sexual meditation, BDSM helps to bring us back into bodies, and away from the endless stream of thought: focusing on what we can see, touch, hear and taste.

Of course, engaging in BDSM should always be consensual, respectful, and prioritize the well-being of all parties involved. As with any form of intimate activity, communication, consent, and mutual respect are key components for a positive and therapeutic experience.

Pleasure and pain: more deeply intertwined than we will ever understand.